Depression Sucks

It has been a few weeks since I have blogged. I have wanted to. I have not been able to. Not because I have been busy. Not because I did not have access to a computer. Not because I didn't have some ideas of what to blog about. I just couldn't.

Depression sucks.

My schedule is booked out months in advance. Communities and organizations expect me on certain dates to deliver on certain, meetings, motivation, shadowing, a speech, strategy, coaching, etc. What is not booked out in advance is when depression will rear itself at a level that I am not expecting or prepared to deal with appropriately. Recently I have gone through one of the worst spells in a long time. I am working my way out of it. And I promise you there will be more blogs on more important subjects in the not so distant future.

But in the meantime, know that I am concentrating on my wellness. I am trying to take care of myself so that I can be present for others and deliver in the ways that people expect at home and on the road.

I am acknowledging my irritability and fatigue.  I am acknowledging and working through my difficulties in concentrating and remembering smaller details. I am working through my feelings of emptiness and worthlessness. I am dealing with my anxiety and loneliness. I am working on taking care of my overwhelming feelings of being tired all the time. 

I know I owe many of you emails or data or phone calls. I know that these keep adding up. And I know that when I don't respond people think it is because I am aloof, or preoccupied, or busy, or forgetful. To the outsider, I can only imagine what depression looks like when you are counting on someone who lives with it, but you don't know they are going through a spell. I feel horrible that I fail at taking care of things like communication at times like this. I want to so bad be able to manage that while working through the depression. But I can't. 

As I said, I am on the upswing again. Over the coming weeks I will catch up. Promise.

About Iain De Jong

Leader. Edutainer. Coach. Consultant. Professor. Researcher. Blogger. Do-gooder. Potty mouth. Positive disruptor. Relentless advocate for social justice. Comedian. Dad. Minimalist. Recovering musician. Canadian citizen. International jetsetter. Living life in jeans and a t-shirt. Trying really hard to end homelessness in developed countries around the world, expand harm reduction practices, make housing happen, and reform the justice system. Driven by change, fuelled by passion. Winner of a shit ton of prestigious awards, none of which matter unless change happens in how we think about vulnerability, marginality, and inclusion.

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